I realise its supposed to be all empowering and shit. It was written by a life coach who wants you to go out and grab life by the horns! No excuses! Just do it! Right? Right.
You are responsible for every choice you make. Of course. You should make the best decisions you can and try not to get lazy, give up or make excuses. You should feel able to make changes in your life because there is a big wonderful world out there full of interesting things to do.
But if you’re feeling like crap because nothing seems to work out for you, maybe it is your parents or the economy or a conniving colleague. This proper academic article concludes that “Adult well-being is strongly linked to childhood experiences.” And this one says that “Negative or traumatic childhood experiences within the family are associated with an array of psychosocial problems in later life.” This includes physical health problems, mental illness and drug problems. So, indeed, your parents are big part of who you have become and your happiness right now. It doesn’t mean you should let that stop you, we all have our challenges and we all have to work hard to overcome them. But it is ok to think that maybe it may have been easier had you had a happier childhood.
Similarly, the economy is complete crap right now. I personally do not think it’s going to get much better. In fact I think it’s going to get much worse over the next 20 years and further. There are not enough jobs to go around. Technology is a wonderful thing, it’s how I get to do this and learn so much and connect to so many people. But it is taking our jobs left, right and centre. This article in Wired magazine explains how robots will have all of our jobs someday. Its a ridiculous take on how we’ll cope because I don’t think we will, I think we’ll end up with 75% unemployment ala Elysium. (Great film by the way, add it to your list if you’re into sci-fi). My point? Right now and in the future there are people whose lives are kind of sucking because of the economy. Maybe if they had better parenting they’d be better at budgeting or interviewing or working hard. Instead they had the experiences they had and it informed their minds the way it did.
The idea that we’re all on a level psycho-social playing field is total bullshit. Some people have to try harder than others. Some people for some very real psychological reasons find it harder to go into work everyday and stay there than you do. It doesn’t make you better, it makes your life easier. Appreciate that rather than judging them.
Sometimes it is your age, the weather or an argument. So don’t belittle the very real struggles that people have to cope with. Life is hard, there are causes to our ills and reasons for our hardships. Don’t let it stop you from fighting on, but don’t be disheartened if you’re finding it difficult.